The Smallville Awards
Jan. 27th, 2005 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeesnob318In the spirit of the impending Oscars, I have a few awards to hand out to the characters/cast of Smallville.
For most obvious foreshadowing line - Clark Kent. "A girl would have to be crazy to go out with me." Gee. Wonder what the next scene is going to be.
For best puppy dog eyes - Alicia. Sure, she's crazy. But she's got that poor, injured animal look down pat.
For the best cheese - again, the award goes to Alicia. Buns of steel. Tee hee!
For the creepiest bad touch - Dr. whatshisname. Repeat after me, Doctor - I will not stroke my patients.
For being the worst at being bad - Not-so-dark Clarkie. Because when I think "boys gone wild," marriage is the first thing that pops into my mind. *rolls eyes multiple times*
For the best "come hither" moment - OK, Clark wins me on this one. In that chair, in the suite? Damn, baby. I think I actually said "That boy's got skills." And yes, those words did sound as unnatural coming out of my mouth as they seem in my journal. Your discomfort is warranted.
For the best dirty line - Lionel. Playing with your sword. Even "good," *pauses to retch* he's bad.
For the most "What? Did I miss something?" - Lex, kissing his fencing instructor. I wonder if she got diamonds...
For the least seductive behavior ever - Lana. Is that Aunt Nell's shirt? Oh, wait - no, Aunt Nell dresses sexier than that. And all the candles? Oh, Lana...
For the most bastardly reply to "I love you" ever - Clark. "I know how you feel." The subsequent "I love me, too" was almost audible.
For the lamest reasoning - the Kents (and keep in mind - they beat out Lana's Jr. High reflex to sleep with her boyfriend just to keep him). So let's see if I hear this correctly - Clark can choose the redK, run away to Metropolis, break and enter, rob ATM's, and get involved with organized crime, and his homecoming is greeted with a joyous whimper and the signature Martha "Clark!" that I love her for. However, when someone else puts the redK on him (i.e., not really his choice, although I'm not giving him any points for brilliance on that one), and his worst offense is running off to get married (and not even legally - so he didn't even really succeed) before he consummates that relationship, they flip out - they are "upset and disappointed." WTF?!? I'm usually on Martha's side, but that was so far beyond anything resembling reason that...there are no words.
For the most Brady moments - Chloe/AM. Man, that girl knows how to carry a motif to the very end.
For just being the best ever - MR. He does so much with so few scenes. Not that I'm biased.
They better not be kidding about next week. I'll smite them with a stick.
For most obvious foreshadowing line - Clark Kent. "A girl would have to be crazy to go out with me." Gee. Wonder what the next scene is going to be.
For best puppy dog eyes - Alicia. Sure, she's crazy. But she's got that poor, injured animal look down pat.
For the best cheese - again, the award goes to Alicia. Buns of steel. Tee hee!
For the creepiest bad touch - Dr. whatshisname. Repeat after me, Doctor - I will not stroke my patients.
For being the worst at being bad - Not-so-dark Clarkie. Because when I think "boys gone wild," marriage is the first thing that pops into my mind. *rolls eyes multiple times*
For the best "come hither" moment - OK, Clark wins me on this one. In that chair, in the suite? Damn, baby. I think I actually said "That boy's got skills." And yes, those words did sound as unnatural coming out of my mouth as they seem in my journal. Your discomfort is warranted.
For the best dirty line - Lionel. Playing with your sword. Even "good," *pauses to retch* he's bad.
For the most "What? Did I miss something?" - Lex, kissing his fencing instructor. I wonder if she got diamonds...
For the least seductive behavior ever - Lana. Is that Aunt Nell's shirt? Oh, wait - no, Aunt Nell dresses sexier than that. And all the candles? Oh, Lana...
For the most bastardly reply to "I love you" ever - Clark. "I know how you feel." The subsequent "I love me, too" was almost audible.
For the lamest reasoning - the Kents (and keep in mind - they beat out Lana's Jr. High reflex to sleep with her boyfriend just to keep him). So let's see if I hear this correctly - Clark can choose the redK, run away to Metropolis, break and enter, rob ATM's, and get involved with organized crime, and his homecoming is greeted with a joyous whimper and the signature Martha "Clark!" that I love her for. However, when someone else puts the redK on him (i.e., not really his choice, although I'm not giving him any points for brilliance on that one), and his worst offense is running off to get married (and not even legally - so he didn't even really succeed) before he consummates that relationship, they flip out - they are "upset and disappointed." WTF?!? I'm usually on Martha's side, but that was so far beyond anything resembling reason that...there are no words.
For the most Brady moments - Chloe/AM. Man, that girl knows how to carry a motif to the very end.
For just being the best ever - MR. He does so much with so few scenes. Not that I'm biased.
They better not be kidding about next week. I'll smite them with a stick.
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 10:25 am (UTC)*cracks up*
Seriously, yo! Seriously!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 10:40 am (UTC)*snickers*
Maybe she got a free pearl necklace.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-27 12:46 pm (UTC)?
Date: 2005-02-01 10:20 am (UTC)margarett
Re: ?
Date: 2005-02-01 10:27 am (UTC)And um, yeah - Lex kissing the instructor when his dad was talking to him. Nice. Watch it again. It's worth the rewind.
The mark in his lip is an old hockey scar. *blinks* I know way too much about this man.