So much fun!

[coffeesnob318]

Heh. Got this from my Hope. Use with reckless abandon.

Here is the All Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten yourself into. Where there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and just go with it. You'll be surprised how effective this form can be if you just let your instincts guide you!

Dear

a) Mom,
b) Dad,
c) love of my life,
d) Assistant Principal,
e) Local Police Chief,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your

a) car
b) house
c) pet
d) espresso maker
e) left arm

was severely damaged by my

a) infantile
b) puerile
c) inept
d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
e) woefully under appreciated

prank. How could I have known that the

a) car
b) jet ski
c) large helium balloon
d) rodent driven sledge
e) Zamboni

I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your

a) house,
b) wife,
c) Cub Scout troop,
d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete
with light bulb in the torch,
e) priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans,

you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to

a) imagine,
b) fathom,
c) comprehend,
d) appreciate,
e) pay for,

and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to

a) hate me,
b) sue me,
c) spank me,
d) take my firstborn,
e) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish
in your koi pond,

but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at

a) school
b) work
c) church
d) the bowling alley
e) the municipal jail

and to remember that I am first and foremost your

a) friend
b) child
c) sibling
d) lease co-signer
e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow
transplant.

I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that

a) was so stupid.
b) was so silly.
c) would have been funny if it worked.
d) you would have done, if you had thought of it first.
e) I'm going to use again on someone else.

Sincerely,

Enter name here (or alias): ________________________

(Received from Joke du Jour)

Dear love of my life,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your left arm was severely damaged by my comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic prank. How could I have known that the rodent driven sledge I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your 1/16th sized replica of the Statue of Liberty, complete with light bulb in the torch, you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage I caused is beyond my ability to pay for, and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to spank me, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at the municipal jail and to remember that I am first and foremost your only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant. I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that would have been funny if it worked.

Sincerely,

coffeesnob

Being easily amused is...well...amusing.

Comments

[hidden-irony.livejournal.com]

You'd have to know my Mom to find it as funny as I do.

Dear Mom,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your house was severely damaged by my woefully under-appreciated prank. How could I have known that the jet ski I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans, you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to pay for, and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at the bowling alley and to remember that I am first and foremost your only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant. I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that I'm going to use again on someone else.

Sincerely,
Brittany D. LaPeyre

[coffeesnob.livejournal.com]

heh, heh. That's awesome!

[nonnierms.livejournal.com]

Dear love of my life,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your left arm was severely damaged by my comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic prank. How could I have known that the rodent driven sledge
I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of your priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans, but you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to pay for, and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know that you are perfectly within your rights to spank me, but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at the municipal jail and to remember that I am first and foremost your lease co-signer

I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that I'm going to use again on someone else.

Sincerely,

Nonnie

[coffeesnob.livejournal.com]

heh, heh. I had a hard time choosing between the bone marrow and lease co-signer, also.

[nonnierms.livejournal.com]

well, I figure I'm not a bone marrow match since we're not blood relatives but I am the lease co-signer LOL