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[personal profile] coffeesnob318
Dear Victoria's Secret Employee-in-Training,

I know you're new here. So let me explain something.

I visit your store at least once a month. I also work a desk job where I can spend a lot of time on the VS website. And you look about 18, which means that I've been a faithful customer of your company since you were in kindergarten. So I don't really need a lot of assistance from you.

What I do need is for you to listen to me when I smile, appreciative of the polite acknowledgment that you gave me when I walked in the door, and say, "No thanks - I'm just looking." Just step back, let me do my thing, and keep an eye out for when I do find something so that you can swoop in like a superhero and do that whisk-everything-I'm-holding-away-to-the-cash-register-so-that-I-don't-have-to-be-bothered-carrying-it thing that I love so much.

What I do NOT need is for you to help me find the style or size I want. I have so much VS underwear at home that I could probably go two months and never wear the same pair twice. I know the company and the product - I know what I like, and I know what fits. Do not - I repeat - DO NOT look me up and down, raise one eyebrow, and say, "Maybe we should try a different size."

Unless, of course, by "different size" you mean a smaller one. Because, although I will politely decline the suggestion and buy the size that I know actually fits, I must confess that, when I am in the mood to spend money, kissing my ass will get you everywhere. That small dose of flattery, empty as you and I know it to be, can really up your commission.

But right now, I wouldn't so much as buy lip gloss from you, thanks to your lackluster customer service. So here's hoping that you've learned your lesson. Maybe next month you'll do better.

love,
coffeesnob

-------------

*sheepish look; shuffling feet*

I'm here. I have neglected the returning of phone calls, canceled dinner plans, and generally been a royal flake. This semester is kicking my ass.

As far as lj goes, I've been lurking sporadically, but I've not really had much to say. I did take a break from running around like a chicken with its head cut off to go to the arts and jazz festival this weekend, where I bought a really nifty hair ornament (ornament for the hair, not made of hair - just wanted to clarify), I stood in line for an eternity to wait for fried pickles, I listened to Brave Combo, and it was decided that I need to marry a man who dances. I can accept that.

My last Tuesday/Thursday class met yesterday. I know that I still have to meet for finals and finish grades, but the end-of-school euphoria (and subsequent impending slothdom) is already setting in. I have never been so ready for summer in my life.

---------------

Yay House! As much as I love that show, I just don't have anything to say about it usually.

Gilmore Girls

But first, a letter of apology:

Dear Family of Coffeesnob,

I take it all back. I apologize for telling people how mortified I was when Dad rolled up to pick me up in 6th grade in the El Camino, pipe sticking out of his mouth, drawling, "Hey, little girl - need a ride?" I am sorry that I made such a big deal out of Aunt Phyllis wearing the slinky, low-cut black dress to my band concert (especially since I turned right around and wore the same dress on stage during One Act Play in high school). My family has never embarrassed me ever. At least not to the extent of naming a building after me at the school that I am currently attending. For this, I am grateful.

love,
coffeesnob

Aw, the parents are buying them a house. With stables for horses. That's not insane or scary at all. *is relieved* And I loved the mother-daughter moment when Lorelei was crying about Luke. Emily can be a human.

The rest is just a bunch of isms -

I love Paris - "Dead people - yes. But not penguins."

Lukism - "So...can I get you ladies anything? Compassion? Perspective?"

Suki! "He's a good guy, that God."

-----------
Not quite sure how I feel about this...but ok.






Which Western feminist icon are you?




You are Angela Davis! You were the THIRD WOMYN IN HISTORY to appear on the FBI's Most Wanted List. You are a communinist, black power-lovin' lady who shook up the United States when you refused to lie down quietly to oppression. You WENT TO JAIL! Wow. You kick so much more ass than Foxxy Brown.
Take this quiz!








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---------

Um....that is all.

so true!

Date: 2006-05-03 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
They need to do a better training program at that VS. That's the same one where they shouted Mels and my bra size across the store. It made me want to flee.

Aww I miss the Jazz Festival. Did you dance the chicken dance? of course you did.. you have to. *sigh*

I liked the quiz - I got to be Frida.

hugs - hope

Re: so true!

Date: 2006-05-04 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeesnob.livejournal.com
I chicken danced like there was no tomorrow. Sam and Markos brought Alexis, and she didn't quite know what to think of the chicken dance. She liked the Hokey Pokey, though. She danced around and bounced - it was the cutest thing.

Yeah...they're not exactly discreet at the Denton VS.

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