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I go both ways *snicker*
Feb. 17th, 2004 04:42 pm| You are 29% geek |
Feb. 17th, 2004
</td><td valign="top">You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
*sigh* Can I just live here?
Feb. 17th, 2004 05:00 pmReality sucks. Tell my ftf friends to grow up, please.
Never thought I'd feel the need to do this, because I am, for the most part, a "say whatever you want" sort of person, but current events in my ftf world spur me to try to avoid any similar nastiness in my lj world. So, as you read, keep in mind that this is not about any of you. It's not about anything that any of you have said or done; you've actually all been quite lovely to me. I'm just posting it to vent and, like I said, to give you a heads up, just in case storms are brewing.
No, seriously - not about you. Repeat after me (yes aloud - quietly, though, if you're at work) - "This post is not about me."
I used to think that I was picky about my friends. I used to think that I required a lot from people. The more people I meet, however, the more I discover that this isn't true. I'm usually pretty tolerant, and even when I'm not, I'm pretty forgiving, especially with people who, in one way or another, have been friends to me. Call me a cynic, but I don't really expect that much of my friends, other than expecting that they're human and thus, on occasion, will act human.
Things I don't expect from friends:
1. I don't expect my friends to always agree with me. In fact, we disagree a lot. If you don't believe me (and you have some time to kill), check out my flist - you're quite the motley little group. Knowing that, I also know that there will be times that you will express an opinion that is different from mine, and it may even be offensive to me. That's ok. Because, let's face it - I can be pretty outspoken myself, so if I haven't offended you yet, I probably will in the future. And when I do, I hope that you not only feel free to confront me about it but also that you can forgive me for it. So I extend you the same courtesy.
2. I don't expect my friends to always be nice to me. In a perfect and incredibly annoying world, everything that we spoke or wrote would always be sunshine and flowers. That is not, however, the world we actually live in. Sometimes, people say things to me that are harsh. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe we have a misunderstanding, or maybe I really deserved it. Whatever the reason may be, I will take an honest friend over a perfect one any day.
3. I don't expect my friends to always be there for me. That's what's so great about having a lot of you here online as well as a lot of ftf friends. Someone's always around. Even when there's no one else present, Jesus is (and he's really, really good at it), so I'm covered. My friends are not responsible for my happiness or my emotional well-being, even though you contribute to both on a daily basis.
What I do expect of friends:
1. Loyalty. When I offend you, it's natural to want to say something. Even if it's a tacky thing that you want to say, that's fine. But I expect my friends to have the minimal maturity it takes to say it to me (preferably in a private email or phone call) first before discussing it with others, particularly mutual friends.
2. Respect. Not in an oh-she's-so-great or "all hail coffeesnob" (although that would be cool) way - nothing involving a pedestal. Just basic respect for me that says that even though you may not like some of my friends, you do respect my right to call them my friends. You who are on my flist are there because you have contributed positively to my life in one way or another (I may even take a cue from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladylynx and tell you each how you've done so in an upcoming entry, 'cause that was cool). So it would be unwise to assume, just because you don't like someone for whatever reason, that they have somehow tricked or manipulated me into being friends with them. Regardless of appearances, I'm not that stupid or naive. I am rarely surprised at how much I can expect a person to give, and when I am surprised, it's usually in a positive way, because I expected too little. But as one of my friends once said, "Friends don't let friends talk smack about their friends," and that's the level of respect that I expect. Of course, I'm not talking about "this is what happened and this is how I feel about it," because that's ok. I'm talking about random catty comments that serve no other purpose than to be a dig at the other person - they make me feel as if I'm expected to choose between friends, which I simply won't do.
Whoa - #2 was a long one. Can you guess what I'm dealing with in ftf world?
Anyway, having said all of that, I really like you people. So even if you commit The Forbidden Two, chances are good that I'll forgive you anyway - once we work past my signature trust issues - just because I like you. I guess I just wanted to let you know what my sudden outburst means if you do.
Never thought I'd feel the need to do this, because I am, for the most part, a "say whatever you want" sort of person, but current events in my ftf world spur me to try to avoid any similar nastiness in my lj world. So, as you read, keep in mind that this is not about any of you. It's not about anything that any of you have said or done; you've actually all been quite lovely to me. I'm just posting it to vent and, like I said, to give you a heads up, just in case storms are brewing.
No, seriously - not about you. Repeat after me (yes aloud - quietly, though, if you're at work) - "This post is not about me."
I used to think that I was picky about my friends. I used to think that I required a lot from people. The more people I meet, however, the more I discover that this isn't true. I'm usually pretty tolerant, and even when I'm not, I'm pretty forgiving, especially with people who, in one way or another, have been friends to me. Call me a cynic, but I don't really expect that much of my friends, other than expecting that they're human and thus, on occasion, will act human.
Things I don't expect from friends:
1. I don't expect my friends to always agree with me. In fact, we disagree a lot. If you don't believe me (and you have some time to kill), check out my flist - you're quite the motley little group. Knowing that, I also know that there will be times that you will express an opinion that is different from mine, and it may even be offensive to me. That's ok. Because, let's face it - I can be pretty outspoken myself, so if I haven't offended you yet, I probably will in the future. And when I do, I hope that you not only feel free to confront me about it but also that you can forgive me for it. So I extend you the same courtesy.
2. I don't expect my friends to always be nice to me. In a perfect and incredibly annoying world, everything that we spoke or wrote would always be sunshine and flowers. That is not, however, the world we actually live in. Sometimes, people say things to me that are harsh. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe we have a misunderstanding, or maybe I really deserved it. Whatever the reason may be, I will take an honest friend over a perfect one any day.
3. I don't expect my friends to always be there for me. That's what's so great about having a lot of you here online as well as a lot of ftf friends. Someone's always around. Even when there's no one else present, Jesus is (and he's really, really good at it), so I'm covered. My friends are not responsible for my happiness or my emotional well-being, even though you contribute to both on a daily basis.
What I do expect of friends:
1. Loyalty. When I offend you, it's natural to want to say something. Even if it's a tacky thing that you want to say, that's fine. But I expect my friends to have the minimal maturity it takes to say it to me (preferably in a private email or phone call) first before discussing it with others, particularly mutual friends.
2. Respect. Not in an oh-she's-so-great or "all hail coffeesnob" (although that would be cool) way - nothing involving a pedestal. Just basic respect for me that says that even though you may not like some of my friends, you do respect my right to call them my friends. You who are on my flist are there because you have contributed positively to my life in one way or another (I may even take a cue from
ladylynx and tell you each how you've done so in an upcoming entry, 'cause that was cool). So it would be unwise to assume, just because you don't like someone for whatever reason, that they have somehow tricked or manipulated me into being friends with them. Regardless of appearances, I'm not that stupid or naive. I am rarely surprised at how much I can expect a person to give, and when I am surprised, it's usually in a positive way, because I expected too little. But as one of my friends once said, "Friends don't let friends talk smack about their friends," and that's the level of respect that I expect. Of course, I'm not talking about "this is what happened and this is how I feel about it," because that's ok. I'm talking about random catty comments that serve no other purpose than to be a dig at the other person - they make me feel as if I'm expected to choose between friends, which I simply won't do.Whoa - #2 was a long one. Can you guess what I'm dealing with in ftf world?
Anyway, having said all of that, I really like you people. So even if you commit The Forbidden Two, chances are good that I'll forgive you anyway - once we work past my signature trust issues - just because I like you. I guess I just wanted to let you know what my sudden outburst means if you do.
